Thursday, September 15, 2011

what ever happened to good ol' spam.

so, i get this e-mail, right:

from Noraini Osman ******
reply-to Noraini Osman
i was going through profiles and came across yours and i felt like contacting you cos my dad is from Malaysia and that's make it my home country lol..I don't mind if we can be friends? write back and let me have your email address so we can get to know more about ourselves.have a nice day.
Awaiting your email.. salam

first thought: malaysia. wow. if it isn't the worst spamming ever. i mean, even those filthy rich kings, queens, emperors and princes of nigeria had better targetting. or, the idea is that i'd fall for it because her name is noraini osman, she's allegedly muslim, her dad is from malaysia and, hey, i might get some exotic muslim asian tail, because she clearly doesn't understand english, anyway.

then, i did what i usually do when spam like this eludes my filters and gets in my inbox: googled the sender's "name", just for laughs. well, ladies and gentlemen, be prepared for this: miss noraini osman.


i entered (hello, orlando, fl! i know, cloudy weather, but be thankful the hurricane season is over, go make me a turkey sandwich or something), i poked around and i said to myself: well, that looks a lot more promising.

so. either this ("wayn" is the acronym of "where are you now") is a badass, mindblowing spamming device, especially created for paranoid skeptics who just won't believe that there are muslim asian women roaming the internet in search for the right man, or it's for real.

if it's bogus, well, congrats: you got a damn fine thing going on over there, facebook application and all, people from all over the world chipping in their seeds of truth in your lying watermelon. waydago,!

if it's for real.. then, miss osman, noraini, honey, by all accounts, i understand that you wish to be close to a man that you trust and love - i mean, who wouldn't, right? - and i completely agree that you should visit your dad's country, the far, far away kingdom of malaysia, so you can get in touch with your roots and everything. i'm just wondering - and i hope you won't take this the wrong way, although i have no idea what the right way is here: where did you get my e-mail address and what in the sacred name of yang di-pertuan agong sultan mizan zainal abidin of terengganu do i have to do with all of this?

please respond as soon as possible.