Wednesday, August 10, 2011

london's future "rioters".

update: due to some unforeseen weather forecast, the event has been cancelled. but the profiles remain.

this facebook "event" has come to my attention: riot.

just a few pointers:
Time: 08 October · 06:00 - 09:00
Location hanley
Created by: Tom Lee Platz
For - join if u want to see a riot in hanley stoke- on- trent
More info - every one meet by the blue clock and then just kick off start smashing things up and start looting !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is tom lee platz. he's a painter and decorator at power house painting (good luck at keeping your job, fucktard), living in leek (oltenian descent? - romanian joke), stoke-on-trent, uk (i also bet that he's lobotomized enough to have his real location added to his profile). so, as you can see from his facebook profile, he's just a single jock that has, oh well, this profile picture of his:

i'm really laughing.

so. the "riot" is programmed for this OCTOBER. that's about 6 months spare time for the police to track down any moron that would join in. but there are 17 stupid-enough people that are already attending. and i got curious: who are these people? well, here are some of their profiles:

this gentleman is nico taylor. a former violin player, he suffered a freak breakfast accident to his hands, i mean head, and he hasn't been at peace ever since. he's really a very sensitive guy.

 ladies and gentlemen, this is mr. sam griggs. in his spare time, he likes long walks on the beach and taking pictures with young blonde ladies he will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, not in a million lifetimes, no way, shag. if you meet him, you need to speak slowly, because he can't follow you over how awesome he is.

as for the ladies, we have miss louise martin (not sure which one from this picture, but i'm betting the one on the left), a runner-up at "little miss donut shop" last year's regional contest, and with really high hopes for this year's edition. let's all root, i mean riot, for her.

and, of course, miss amber jayy, a devoted mother, daughter and sister (really, i have no idea what to make of that profile picture), who just wishes the best to everyone, as you can clearly see.

these are some of the future stupendous "rioters" you all must fear. not sure if this is a joke or just sheer stupidity (cue that picture of fry from futurama here), but i must tell you, "rioters", i'm not impressed. in romania, we got through miners' huge crimewaves in '90 (february and june), '91 (september) and '99 (january/february), which, in terms of violence against people, were much more brutal than anything you could ever imagine. google it, look it up on youtube. maybe you'll get some real stuff to post on your facebook planks. plus, there are some really fucked-up individuals online, so you better get your shite together, if you want to get old enough to legally drink in your country.

p.s. as i said, i'm from romania and i don't know much about the british education system: when does the school begin over there, guys?